Teeth

I was actually going to let this one go without a review, because I figured it didn't have much mass appeal associated with it. But then Empire Online listed it as one of the must see movies of the summer. Given this glowing recommendation, I felt I had to weigh in. I like the dark, weird, twisted movies, and this one had some promise. Unfortunately, it just ended up being weird without the interesting narrative to back it up.

Jess Weixler stars as Dawn, a woman coming of age with a unique trait. To put it bluntly, her vagina is lined with teeth. And from judging what she does with these, very sharp teeth. It does have an interesting theme of female sexual empowerment, but this is simultaneously overbearing and lost. As blatant as it is represented by her "biting" off male aggressors' privates, the sheer dumb horror of the movie dulls the message. It's empowerment, but not to be taken seriously. In short, the horror aspect subverts the message.

It's billed as a horror comedy, so I may be looking at it a little too seriously. The sound effects and some rather graphic scenes will make you both cringe and giggle (but mostly cringe). The part of the movie I did appreciate was that Dawn is an advocate of abstinence. This is clearly in place to explain why she's never been told that you're not supposed to have teeth down there, but it also takes a comical shot at all those chastity rallies that are so popular in schools. These were my favorite scenes.

Another (maybe unintentionally funny) scene features her first trip to a gynecologist. Believing him to be overly aggressive, he feels the wrath of her special endowment. This sends him out of the room screaming "Vagina Dentata!"- evidently the name of said affliction. I hope this was supposed to be absurd and funny.

This was actually a movie I watched, and then just forgot about. Didn't really think it was worth a mention until I caught that list. It's not like the movie was terrible- I mean it wasn't supposed to be great in the first place. If you do see it, don't take it too seriously, that was my mistake. Just laugh it off, and be prepared to cover your eyes at a few uncomfortable scenes.

2/5